inspiring...

I stole this from my friend Kara's blog (although I don't know who wrote it; someone named Charlotte). Definitely worth reading. I needed it today! Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to be a mom, and I forget how much I love it. This was a great reminder.

INVISIBLE MOTHER

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seenagain.

She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.'
And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. Great Job, MOM!It's the things we achieve through God that gives us our joys in life.

My favorite books...

I love to read but rarely indulge. Because of my "all-or-nothing" personality that I can't seem to change, I end up forsaking as many of my stay-at-home-mom duties and responsibilities as possible until the book I'm reading is finished. This seems to be the case, even if I don't like the book that much (example: Twilight. Don't hate me. I just don't like it). I just need to have it over with so I can know what happens and move on.

ANYWAY, I recently made my brother Daniel read my all time favorite book, and this got me thinking about others that I love. So, in case you're interested, here are my top three. The last one is a recent find, but the other two I read every year because I love them so much.

#1: "There Are No Children Here" by Alex Kotlowitz. Non-fiction. This book was introduced to me in my juvenile delinquency sociology class at BYU. It opened my "naive-utah-girl-21-year-old" eyes, and I daresay it changed my perspective on things forever. Incidentally, I can't find my copy, and I think I lent it out to someone. If that person is you, let me know! :)

#2: "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. Everyone thinks this book is so popular, but I'm surprised by the number of people that have never read it! It is so worth it! One of my favorite memories is when Brad and I took turns reading it out loud to each other in the evenings, right after Nick was born. So well written, so witty, so suspenseful. Brad will readily admit that he likes it (which is no small feat) and he even watches the movie with me -- the long A&E version, NOT the Kiera Knightly version, which was utterly disappointing. "Read it! I know you'll love it!" Name that movie.

#3: "North and South" by Elizabeth Gaskell. I just read this a couple months ago, and it is fantastic. Equally as good is the movie that the BBC did of it in 2004. A great pick for Valentines weekend!

I'm having a "curl-up-with-a-great-novel" craving, so if anyone has any recommendations, I'm all ears!

The official birthday pictures...

We took a short trip to Philly this weekend to spend time with T, K, & boys and to see my dad who stopped by on his way back from a business trip. As usual, I made Katie take more pictures! Chase was a little out of sorts all weekend and wasn't extremely cooperative. When she tried to get both boys together, they took turns smiling but never at the same time. Regardless, Katie's skills prevailed!

How does it go so fast.....

One year ago (yesterday) this beautiful baby boy entered our lives...

Happy Birthday, Chasey-boy. We love you in every way possible. (One-year old pictures are being taken next weekend by Kate). This was such a bittersweet day for me. I'm so happy he's growing, progressing, and becoming more independent, but why does it have to go so fast? What a difference a year makes!

We celebrated the day by having Daddy home with us for most of the day and by going to the library. We have the best library here and Chase loves it. In the evening our good friends Melba and Sammie joined us for Chase's favorite dinner (fejawada...a Brazillian dish from Brad's mission...I have no idea how it's really spelled), along with some brownies and ice cream.

This birthday boy is not too sure about his birthday hat!

About to climb up the stairs -- his absolute favorite thing to do all day!

"Reading" books -- his favorite thing to do once he gets up the stairs!

This is how Chase lets us know he's finished with his meal -- he throws it as far as he can.

This is how happy he gets after he throws his food!

His first dessert! He took a few bites, and I bet you can guess where the rest of it ended up!

My little one-year-old! Here are some facts about Chase:

*He has a very sweet disposition and rarely cries EXCEPT for when you put him down to sleep. I think I can count on one hand the number of times he hasn't cried when we laid him down for a nap or bed (usually only for 5 minutes, though).

* He can sign 'more' and 'all done' and can say 'grandpa, bye-bye, ma-ma, da-da,' and a few other words.

*He has never taken a binkie or a bottle, and has just recently formed an attachment to a blanket.

* He prefers ME over Brad, something that Nick never has!

*He loves his big brother and tries to do everything that Nick does.

* He is crawling everywhere, pulls himself up on everything, and walks along furniture or anything else he can hold on to.

*He loves to DANCE!

*He still loves his jumper chair and will happily jump away for 30 minutes or longer.

Oh, how we love this kid! I can't believe I have a three-yr-old and a 1-yr-old. How does time go by so fast? Happy Birthday, my little Chase!

PS- HURRAY and HALLELUJAH -- the boy is WEANED!

WOW!

I know I've been M.I.A to the blogging world lately, so to make up for it I just did FOUR different posts. Keep scrolling. If you can't tell, I've been hit by the stomach bug that's flying around the country (that's number 2 for me this winter, if you're counting), and my boys are all at church, so I just had three hours alone in my bed, just me and my lap-top. Good time! :) Here's a cute picture, to get you started...

A Sad Good-bye

Anyone who's ever lived away from family knows how essential having good friends is. They become your family in every sense of the word, and they make life more than bearable -- they make it fun.

As a stay-at-home mom who can't stand to stay in doors all day and who was adjusting to a new place and to the life of having two kids, I needed such a friend. So much so, in fact, that I was praying for one. Someone that I could call at the last minute to go to the park with, someone to run errands with, someone to go shopping with at the end of the day when the kids were in bed and the husband was studying or doing stuff for his calling. When Chase was just a few months old and the weather got a bit warmer, the kids and I would venture out on walks around our neighborhood and would consistently stop at Melissa's, who was always outside with her girls. Nick was obsessed, to say the least, with their five-yr-old- girl, Morgan, and would ask about her nonstop. When we decided to move down the street to be in an end unit and to get away from 2 smoking neighbors, we moved in right next to them.

I admired Melissa in every way, and eventually these walks turned into play dates at the park, galavanting around to every activity State College offered in the spring/summer/fall, 5:30 workout sessions every morning at the Y, and resulted in a friend, a best friend, to talk about everything with, to call every day (even though we lived next door to each other)to go grocery shopping with, to ask parenting advice from, to share heartaches and joys with, and to laugh with.

The WORST thing about living in a college town is the transience. Adam (smarty-pants), finished his PhD in 3.5 years, and they moved to Idaho a few weeks ago. And seriously, I know how incredibly cheesy this post is, but I miss her everyday. There are not words to describe Meliss. In the last few weeks they were here, I heard no less than 8 people tell her things like "you are the glue that holds our ward together," and it's true. She silently took care of everyone. She is outgoing, beautiful, hilarious, friendly, completely self-less, the best mom, generous, and absolutley wonderful in every way.

My favorite memories of her include:
*Having her go up and tickle the back of one of our friends at the gym, only to discover it wasn't our friend!
*Lying on the gym floor, supposedly working our abs, but laughing and talking forever.
*Bringing our baby monitor over after all the kids were in bed and playing games
*Preparing for the Super Saturday enrichment, and trying to figure out those bath salt ornaments! :)
*Grocery shopping late at night, then staying in the car talking until 11pm, when we know we're going to see each other at 5:20 the next morning.
*Watching our kids play together.
*Going to Huntingdon, and seeing her with her YW
*Our "glorious" trip to Lancaster
*Getting lost and going on a scooter hunt in Belleville
*Dinner at each others houses, and our Christmas party
*Eating at Baby's
*Go-karts!
*Seeing you go through the frustration and then the excitement of house hunting, and finally getting what you and Adam have worked so hard for these last 7 years!

I feel so blessed to have made this friend, for life.

Me and Meliss

Nick and Morgan, saying good-bye

The whole family.

Nick and Morgan, decorating our tree.

We miss you, Melissa, Adam, Morgan, and Mikayla!

Nick

Last Monday, Nick gave each of his horsies a bath (in 1/4 inch of water in his toy bin)...

...and then lined them all up on the couch and read them a story, appropriately titled "Harry the Dirty Dog." I love being a mom.